Not all conflict is created equal

If there’s no tension in your strategy conversations, you probably haven’t earned trust yet.

I shared that thought last week in conversation and got pushback —from a smart, pragmatic product leader. To sum up his position, see the quote below.

“Are we over-engineering conflict? Not every disagreement needs a 1:1. Sometimes alignment happens faster in the open—with all the messiness on the table.”

That is a fair point.

Not every conversation needs to be a truth-finding quest. And yes—public tension can create useful pressure. (Keep this in mind, there are times when you need to use it).

But here's the risk: when decisions move fast without private friction, misalignment just compounds downstream.

It shows up later in half-hearted execution, side-channel resistance, or teams quietly doing their own thing. You’ve seen this before - teams taking thier time, or updates coming slowly.

These are empty strategic calories. Smiling at you while doing business as usual.

Strategy is breaking the status quo to get to a difficult outcome.

If people doing business as usual worked - you wouldn’t need a strategy in the first place.

Since we are asking people to do something outside of the norm, you’ll need thier trust or this is going no where.

Sometimes, you need to slow down to speed up.

When trust is brittle or the stakes are high, 1:1s aren’t a luxury—they’re where the real work happens.

Public alignment only sticks if it's grounded in private truth. Otherwise, it’s just theater.